One down, 11 to go…

This post was kind of written in real time and starts shortly after the last one left off - the countdown to the first open mic.

Two hours to go. My palms are sweating and my hands are shaking. I feel like I have low blood sugar but I ate recently - and feel nauseous anyway so not sure eating would be wise. I’d really love a drink to calm my nerves but I’d probably end up having several if I started now so best not!

Disaster! I just did a run through and forgot the words and chords in several places even though I know the songs inside-out! Trying to remind myself what I’ve learnt from a book I’ve been reading - The Inner Game of Music.  It’s part of the Inner Game series (originally written for sport) which essentially deals with the self-sabotage that your conscious mind can bring when performing any skill you’ve learnt under pressure. It’s a brilliant book - and a brilliant series more generally - which I’d highly recommend.

So I just did another run through of the three songs I’ll be doing later. Phew. I got these pretty much right - although some of the lines were slightly fudged. Listening back to the recordings (I’m constantly recording my practice sessions!) it’s not hugely noticeable though. Or that’s what I need to tell myself anyway, because it’s time to leave now! It’s frustrating that I’d have any issue with remembering lyrics - those of you who know me can confirm I have an almost unlimited repository of lyrics in my head usually! Hopefully these ones will ‘be alright on the night’ though. Off I go :).

Phew! It’s the next morning, and I’ve ticked off performance number one and didn’t completely screw it up. Of course there were inevitably a few dodgy moments, eg where I mumbled the words a little at the start while trying to find them. The benefit of playing my own songs is that everyone is hearing them for the first time though, which I’m hoping makes any minor slips less obvious! And the point was for me to play live, not to play live perfectly - ie just to get out there and do it. So I count this as a success :).

Weirdly I felt much less nervous on stage than I did in my final practice runs. I think that’s partly to do with having an actual audience to think about. It helped me to get out of my own head and think about the listeners and what I wanted to convey to them. Although only in a slightly roundabout way. I avoided any eye contact and kept them in my peripheral vision so I was semi-aware of them and half in my own world! 

Singing into a mic also felt a bit odd - and made me realise how much I am looking at my guitar to reassure myself on my fingering rather than doing it all by feel. The angle of the mic didn't let me look down without losing the vocals - which felt stressful at first - but it turns out my fingers just knew where to go. That was pretty reassuring. I’m going to practice playing without looking now, so I can get used to that. I’m also going to try playing in different positions - standing and on higher and lower seats. This time the seat was a different height than I'm used to and again that felt slightly strange. So the experience has given me great food for thought for my practice sessions.

The whole evening was so much fun as well!! I was lucky enough to play early, so I had the chance to enjoy the other acts without feeling nervous. As the evening progressed things turned into more of a jam session - which even found me back up on stage improvising some harmonies to one of the other performers’ rendition of stand by me while our host gave his best effort on the new Chinese flute he’d been given for Christmas and didn't yet know how to play! Hopefully as I get more comfortable, the stress and nerves will fade, and either way I have a whole lot of fun musical evenings to look forward to, even if the pre-performance part continues to be a little bit anxiety-inducing for a while.

Oh - before I sign off I’d better do the Big Reveal as to where I went! This time was The Junction near Brixton hosted by the wonderful Sung Loh (below). He was a super-welcoming, encouraging and friendly host. 

I was a little nervous about trying the place because I’d been to the venue previously to watch a ‘jam night’ which turned out to be some pretty hardcore jazz - so I thought I might stand out like a sore thumb. The open mic was a much more eclectic mix happily. There were some fabulous performances, with a couple of highlights being Matu  and a brilliant performer whose name escapes me who had electrified a tiny practice guitar and played it with an incredible tone which belied its size. And of course I mustn’t forget the world’s most enthusiastic and supportive audience member - you can follow her on YouTube to find some great music recommendations. It was a great evening all around, and I’d definitely recommend checking it out if you’re looking for an open mic to watch or play at.

Right, onto open mic number two - that’s tonight! As I said in the last post, I don’t do these things by halves…